Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
even my farts smell like vagina
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
