We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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