come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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