I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
