grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I wish there were birth control emojis
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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