i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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