Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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