"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
