Cold hands, warm shart.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
