I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
