So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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