i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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