Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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