We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
