well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
