And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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