I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
