i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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