Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
