what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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