covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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