yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
