living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
