The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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