She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
