you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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