it's like iHOP with fire
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
