Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
