Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
