My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
