you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dicks are not precious.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
