take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
