i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
