goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize