And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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