Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
