just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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