awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
