Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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