I'm going to jail i love you
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
