Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize