who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
