She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
