I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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