Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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