What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
