The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
