i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize