I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
