She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
