How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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