just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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