I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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