You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize