Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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