Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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