I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im six kinds of drunk right now
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
