Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
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We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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