Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
In the future we'll all be gay
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
