eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize