So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
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Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
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the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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