He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
