You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
